school lady, packing heat

i'm not going to get into the "guns don't kill people; people kill people" argument. for now, i have no investment in debating who should & should not [be allowed to] own guns.

all i want to do is expose the human psyche's worst enemy: itself.

hype for someone else

i would never have reached this point, overcome all that i have, & become stronger along the way were it not for those who bless me simply by being in my life.  one of those people? my brother, gj beatty.

this is gj & me, nearly 33 years ago, after my baptism

sorry, every other little sister in the world; i'm sure your blessed, but i have the best big brother. ever.

Soft Kitty + Pete Townshend + Beggin Strips = a Merry Christmas

only took me 30+ years to figure myself out. my Christmas-self, i mean. i have been wrestling with the holiday season for some time now, & at its 2012 start, i thought i was going to avoid the difficult grappling. finally. Christmas wasn't going to be hard. Christmas was going to be great. it wasn't just going to be happy; it was going to be happy, happy, happy. i even dared to think it was going to reach the heretofore unheard of Ren & Stimpy levels of happy, happy, joy, joy.

silly me.

Guerrilla Tactics

toby & i constantly vie for supremacy in the Furniture Wars of 22 F1. dominance usually depends on the battle's locale. if strife occurs in the living room, four legs often prevail over two, & the fighting at Couch Hill ends in my defeat. if, however, the conflict spills over into my bedroom, the tables are turned, & i continue to reign supreme over Dreamland Fun-time Palace.

last night, however, there was a sneak attack.

Presidential Debate, Part the First

so i decided that i was going to be a good citizen & exercise my freedom to be informed so that i can make educated choices come election day.

i also decided that i was going to be a petty snark.

a thought on separation

it sucks.

celebration!

just posted my 100th deviation!

*thrilled!*

my watchman, an ever-constant presence in times of need

this morning, as i conversed with a friend & enjoyed a bagel drizzled with honey, i was a naive woman. i was blissfully ignorant of the life-threatening dangers lurking within my own abode. not until the full alarm was raised did i realize the peril at my very doorstep.

or, in this case, at my very large window.

how many times can i flip this coin & have it come up heads?

be forewarned; this post will be filled with self-indulgent bitchiness & heavy on the swears, at least for me. probably NSFW, at least language-wise. if that's not your style, then close the window now. if you're my mom, you'll understand if you do decide to read on. God. you'll so understand. 

tea paintings

i'm exhausted. i had a decent day & terrible evening. however, it's okay. because i painted with tea.

sometimes, i wax poetic when i don't feel good. you can thank my sinuses for inflicting this on you.

how i end up having a bad day, *OR* "for the love of GOD, don't poke the hungry bear!"

i have a special circle in hell specifically reserved for some household chores.

Wil Wheaton - Depression Lies

i've not been in the practice of linking to other blogs, but this is Wil Wheaton's heartfelt discussion of his experience with depression. whether or not you have depression yourself, please read this. there is no need for people to continue to suffer when there is treatment out there. depression is not "the blues" or "just a little bummed"; it is a quantifiable mental illness caused by issues with brain chemistry or a disastrous life event or both. you would never think to tell someone with lung cancer to "shrug it off" and for her to "pick herself up by her bootstraps." thus it is with depression. there is medication, there is cognitive and behavioral therapy, and there is help. whether it's for yourself or someone you love, go get the support that's out there.

"Depression Lies" by Wil Wheaton

running with ichigo, walking with toby

well, really, if i wanted to be accurate, it'd be more like running with Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni. but let's not split hairs.

taking one for the team

art is not painless.

toby's situation comedy

it's too early for this.

unpacking my heart with words

i made a promise--if he doesn't cry, then i won't.

*there are some promises i shouldn't make.

the faces in front of the classroom

i fully appreciate what Paul Tough has to say about character education versus emphasis on test scores. however, there is a specific conflict that holds teachers back from helping students reach their greatest potential.

you are not the paragon of wisdom

you don't know what it means. i pray that you never do.

me, dream's nuance

i'd almost forgotten what the morning smells like. shame on me.

me, zombie

so i went running. this morning. voluntarily. after breakfast.

afterward, i asked myself, "who are you, and what you done with my brain?"

happy accident

totally didn't mean to do this, but it happened.

meditations on the female body

the link below takes you to one of four deviations i posted tonight. three originate from a meditation on the most obvious of female identifiers & my personal experience with breast cancer biopsies. yeah, plural. & they sucked. the fourth comes of my anger, hurt, & frustration resulting from the horrifying ignorance about the human body, as proclaimed from the GOP mountaintops in the past two-ish weeks. & really, no pun intended.

dead, maybe.

when you first go to the page, it has a filter warning. you can still click & see the image. on 

the gallery & print pages, even though you see a [-] instead of an image, the file is still there.

me, running fail

my hamstrings are bitches.

me, cresting

every runner has her reasons why she does it. that *thing*, that exhilarating quality that calls to her soul and tells it to put its shoes on because it's time to head out the door.

my wake-up? it comes from the hills.

me, trying to run

college. oh, college.

me, running

today, for the first time in a long time, i went running. no big deal, a lot of people who decide to dig their five year old Nikes out of the closet could say the same. except for me, it's different.

bad ideas

good idea: kick back with a friend & a cold one in the comfort & confines of your humble abode.

bad idea: raucously kick back with a raucous friend & a cold twenty-four in the public stairwell such that residents one floor up can smell the shitty beer from their doorsteps, & drunk ogle/leer at/make supremely uncomfortable in her own building a female resident who is trying to walk by, mind her own business, & take her dog outside. 

*don't piss me off, assholes. i don't lose.

unexpected walk

seduced by the view from the Manhattan Waterfront Greenway, i walked from the meatpacking district to One WTC. i wonder if that was a mistake.

"We yearn to be like gods."

'Such moments reveal what Christian writer C.S. Lewis called “our inconsolable secret,” our universal longing to bridge a gulf between our ordinary lives and this extraordinary life set before us.'

"My Take: With the Olympics, we yearn to be like gods." -- by Joseph Loconte

overdue confessions

1. my life could take an odd turn on monday.
2. i'm scared shitless.

in three days time, i will be meeting with someone who could show me how to open a lot of doors in the writing & art worlds. the light bursting through the passages is blinding, & i'm not sure if i have what it takes to step forward on my own.

given my unexpected success in the Otakon Art Show, my confidence should be high. should. that i was able to generate five decent pieces start-to-finish in exactly thirty days should be evidence enough that i have the drive. that each image was well received should tell me that i have a degree of talent. that i had nothing to take home at the con's close should indicate that i can do this. should, should, should, should...

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